I don’t know if you’re going
to remember this or not. I talked about it six years ago. But if you cared about me
at all, you would remember. Six years ago, someone on
my staff went into a CVS for one item, and the
receipt was so long that I couldn’t even believe it. I called it outrageous. I called it mind-boggling. I called it long. And now this time,
it happened again. Do my words mean nothing, CVS? This time a different
person from my staff went to CVS for an item. And I’m not going to say who
it was or what it was for. But Mary, are you
feeling better? [LAUGHING] I am. It cleared up? Good. OK. It cleared up. All right. So look at this. This is for one item. It’s longer than my torso. She bought one thing. And again, I’m not going
to say what it was. But it’s not itchy anymore? [LAUGHING] No. Has the smell gone away? For the most part. Anyway, it’s not important
who it was or what it was. Like, she bought one
thing at 11:00 AM, and by the time this finished
printing, it was 3:00 PM. If you ever wondered why the
lines are so long, this is why. The crazy thing is, it’s
really the top two things, the top 2 inches are receipts. The rest is coupons. So if you go back
and use the coupon, you’ll get another
receipt with more coupons. It’s a vicious cycle,
which is I think that’s what CVS stands for. Coupon vicious cycle. If you spell cycle
with an S. There’s no need for it to be this long. My contract as host of the
show uses less paper than this. I’ve written best-selling
books with less words in this. I’ve closed escrow on 17
houses in one year using less paper than this. Please CVS, don’t make me
come back on in six years and talk about this. I could be talking more– like, more important
things could be happening. I could show 23 cat
videos in the time it takes to talk about the.