Hello, I’m Bruce. Right now I’m 21 years old and I’m happy,
but just a few years ago I was broke, alone, and homeless. And all of it was because of my Mother… Since I could remember, my mom didn’t really
care about me. We always had some food at home, but that
was it… she never talked to me or asked me any questions unless she needed something. She would also berate me if I broke something
or talked too loudly. Once she was supposed to pick me up from school
in the middle of winter, but she forgot and I had to walk all the way home because I had
no money. I was wet and cold and got sick for several
weeks, and she did buy me medicine, but then forced me to go to school because it was too
big of a hassle for her if I stayed at home. It was confusing and painful to me when I
was a kid, but I had gotten used to it by the time I got older. When I became a teenager, I was rarely at
home – I was always hanging out with my friends, sometimes for the whole night, because, well,
nobody cared if I was at home or not, so I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn’t
create any problems for my mom. I was bad at school but I was doing barely
enough so that my teachers wouldn’t call her. I wasn’t hanging out outside all the time,
because I wanted to – pretty often, it was because I didn’t feel like I had a home. My Mom always had men in her life, and they
would come and go every few years – so it felt like I was just the tenant in a house
of two strangers. With my ‘stepfathers” it was like they
were literally strangers, but with my Mom it just felt like it. Well, I was at least thankful to them for
not messing with me and for leaving me alone. But this all changed when I was 17 and she
started to date an ex-military man, and boy was he strict. He had all these RULES, like specific times
I had to come home and that I suddenly had chores to do at home. He was constantly telling me how he would
make a MAN out of me and how spoiled I was. I hated him and I ignored his rules. One day I came home pretty late, and he was
WAITING for me, red with anger. I didn’t even get why… I mean, it wasn’t even his house! Anyway, he started to lecture me on how I
should obey HIS rules because HE was the man of the house. He was so loud my Mother woke up. I rolled my eyes until he warned me that I
would have to leave this house as soon as I turned 18. I couldn’t believe it. I looked at my Mother waiting for some kind
of support, but she just went back to their room without saying anything. He got so angry at me that he made me run
laps in the middle of the night around our house, shouting at me at the same time. Mom came out again, but all she did was to
ask us to be quieter because she wanted to sleep. Good thing that it was raining, cause nobody
could see my tears. The next few months I was afraid of both being
in the house and being out of it. It was just constant anxiety and anger. I finally turned 18 and was waiting every
day to be kicked out, but my “stepfather” was feeling “generous,” or to be more
precise, my mother asked him to be a little softer. So the new deal was that if I wanted to stay
longer I had to pay for my room. I agreed, because this was the only place
I could afford right now, any other room I tried to find would cost more. It was really hard to find a job – I worked
at a fast food joint for a while, but I was so miserable with my situation at home that
it was hard to talk with people, so eventually I started a job at a factory. It had terrible pay and a terrible schedule
but I had no choice, so I continued to work there. It was better than being at home. Every night I returned from work, my “stepfather”
would continue to annoy me with his rules, and my mother would agree with him about how
stupid and useless I was, only taking up space. I hated them with a passion and would have
cried myself to sleep every night except I was too tired to feel anything. One day I forgot my keys at home, and after
I returned home from a 12-hour shift, I called my Mother to open the door for me, but she
said she was out and that I had to wait. I was waiting on our front porch for a few
hours and eventually fell asleep, exhausted from work. I was woken up by them returning and being
angry at me for sleeping on the front porch, like I was homeless. ”
They were miserable together and decided to get a dog, because yeah, they needed someone
to care about. How ironic that they treated this poor small
dog better than me, and by better I mean that they screamed at it a little less often than
they did at me. So, anyway, one night when I was trying to
fall asleep my stepfather opened the door and was shouting at me for leaving dirty dishes
in the sink. I ignored him until he left to walk with the
dog, and that’s when I decided that enough was enough and I went to the kitchen and smashed
all those dirty plates that I couldn’t clean because I was exhausted from work. My Mom came out to see what was happening
and started berating and screaming at me, but I ignored her
– I packed all my stuff, took my bag, and left the house without saying goodbye. I stayed in a dirty loud hostel for a few
days and it was even worse – I had to come from a loud factory to a loud hostel and was
just constantly tired, but it was better than living with my mother and her… boyfriend. After a while I rented myself a room and immediately
felt better – it was quiet and nobody would barge in in the middle of the night. Work still sucked, but I didn’t care. I devoted all my free time to studying how
to code. I knew I couldn’t apply to a university
in my current situation and programming is well-paid, so it was the best choice I could
make. My life gradually got better – after a year
of living like that, changing jobs, and spending all my free time learning to code I finally
got a better job, and found a great girlfriend, Eve, who made me incredibly happy. Eventually we rented a small apartment together. It was all great until… my mother reappeared
in my life. She called me one day, almost crying. Just hearing her voice made me sweat and tremble
with anxiety. The army man had left her and she was all
alone and lonely and had financial problems. I was hesitant about whether I wanted to be
in contact with her again, but Eve thought that it might be a good idea, maybe she had
changed. So Eve and I went together to meet my mother. She looked… bad, like 10 years older. It was almost uncomfortable how she was hugging
me and acting like she missed me. She had never done that in my entire life. I was silently sitting the whole evening while
my mother was chatting with Eve, telling her “funny stories” from my childhood. They weren’t funny to me. I felt physically sick being in this house. I also wondered where the dog was – did the
army man take it or… something worse? Anyway, I felt sorry for it. But then I thought, maybe she really did change,
maybe being completely alone showed her how wrong she was, so I decided to give her a
chance. I would talk with her on the phone once a
week and would visit her once a month and even started to help her with money for a
little bit and she did act like she was grateful. Once I went to see her alone and she started
to say insulting things about Eve – how she wasn’t good enough for me and that she was
just using me and that I should break up with her, and get this, my Mother wanted me to
move back in with her. I was surprised by this, because usually she
was always very friendly to Eve. When I tried to defend Eve, my mother called
me ungrateful and said that she didn’t even want me to be born. It was incredibly painful to realize that
she hadn’t changed at all and that I had just spent so much energy on her out of guilt and
the belief that she wasn’t a narcissistic, toxic person who’d neglected me my whole life. So I told my Mom everything I thought about
her, I was speaking loudly for about half an hour, and then I was getting my things
together, preparing to leave. At that moment my Mom ran after me and pretended
to fall. She was laying on the floor and crying about
everyone abandoning her. She looked like a little baby, but I felt
absolutely nothing. After some time she stood up and tried to
hug me, but I stepped back. At this point I left without showing any emotion
or saying a word. I imagined how she would continue to sit all
alone in this room, knowing that it was her fault, but never being a person who was big
enough to say she was sorry or just accept that it was her fault. I went back home to Eve, a person who loved
me, and burst into tears – something I’d never done in my entire life. I opened up to her, something I also never
really did in detail, and I just told her everything for hours while she sat there and
supported me. The next day she took me out for an amazing
day – we went to the movies, looked at ducks in the park, saw our friends, and then she
did something unexpected in the evening. She got on her knee… and proposed to me. It was so weird and I didn’t understand what
was happening, because, you know, the guy is supposed to do that. But she didn’t care, because she thought it
was wonderful how amazing I had turned out despite my terrible upbringing, and she simply
couldn’t wait. It felt nice and I said “yes.” I cut off all contact with my mother, and
I haven’t talked with her or visited her since. I don’t think she deserves my love or attention
after all she put me through. But I’m really, truly happy now. My life is not perfect, but I’m surrounded
by Eve and my friends – people who really love me. Share in the comments if you have a similar
experience to mine, I would like to see your opinions. Should I still keep in contact with my mother
or did I do the right thing?