OK guys let’s go shut up come on ok it’s
time to start Now who needs a pencil? Everyone? Fine, here you go! You should have leveled up your characters–how
come you didn’t? Do you even want to go on this adventure or
no? It’s the DM’s lament! The Dungeon Master’s affliction! Resigned to the fate that I’m my friends’ referee And their chaperone and mother! No, I didn’t ask for this! But who else will take care of these adult
babies? Are we ready? Not quite yet, come on you guys that dick
joke Wasn’t all that funny, no you don’t need more pizza Don’t look over at my notes, now why are people standing? I don’t think you understand I’ve worked
on this for weeks It’s the DM’s lament! The Dungeon Master’s affliction! Resigned to the fate that I’m my friends’
referee And their chaperone and mother! No, I didn’t ask for this! But who else will take care of these adult
babies? The players are the most important part of my games It’s more fun when they go their own way Usually I’m down to roll with the punches But today is not that day It’s like… you guys all have each other and I just have The DM’s lament, the Dungeon Master’s affliction! Resigned to the fate that I’m my friends’
refereeeeeee Let’s do this You’re at the bottom of the dungeon–where the hell is Randy? I built all the encounters for a party of five No, you cannot roll for sex–is anybody listening? Fuck it, a Tarrasque shows up, and everybody dies Yeah, that’s right! Everybody dies! Even the fucking Tarrasque! I’m the Dungeon Master, I’m the Dungeon Master PAY ATTENTION TO M- Roll a level one.